1.31.2006

8 Things Women Say – and what they mean

I found the best article on msn today. It's quite awesome, all men should read and memorize it.

Phrase #1
What She Says: I don´t mind if you hang out with your ex.
What She Means: I trust you, but definitely not her. If she lays a finger on you, I´ll rip her heart out with my bare hands and make her eat it.
What You Should Do: Proceed with caution, but have fun!

Phrase #2
What She Says: Sure, I´d love to watch the sports game with you.
What She Means: The only reason I´m putting myself through such torture is to spend time with you.
What You Should Do: Gentlemen, keep in mind that assuming your lady doesn't like sports, watching a few hours of a sporting event is comparable to a woman making you wait three hours in a hair salon. If your lady does this then good work – she must really care about you.

Phrase #3
What She Says: I´m fine.
What She Means: Things are not fine and I´m mad at you. (The word fine´ actually stands for: freaked out, irritated, nervous and emotional).
What You Should Do: Make a mental note that in a woman´s vocabulary the word "fine" often has the same meaning as ?terrible´.

Phrase #4
What She Says: Fine, ditch our plans and go out with your boys.
What She Means: The combination of "fine´ (see above) and sarcasm is a sure sign that you are in trouble.
What You Should Do: You shouldn´t expect sex for a while. This would certainly be a good time to consider buying her a present.

Phrase #5
What She Says: I´m just having a bad day.
What She Means: It´s not your fault – or maybe it is – but the point is that your lady may be experiencing some PMS.
What You Should Do: Give her space or you may regret it and suffer the consequences.

Phrase #6
What She Says: Yes, I think she´s pretty.
What She Means: Tell me I´m more beautiful and that she is an airbrushed, high maintenance, ugly troll behind a wall of makeup with breast implants.
What You Should Do: Do what she says! Tell her she´s beautiful.

Phrase #7
What She Says: What are you doing tonight?
What She Means: What are you doing with me tonight? A lot of the time when a woman asks this question her intention is really to make plans for the evening. Women really don´t care to hear that you are reorganizing your coin collection and then watching a documentary on mold.
What You Should Do: You could respond with, ?I don´t know, did you have something in mind??

Phrase #8
What She Says: That shirt is really nice – you should wear it more often.
What She Means: I really like the shirt and not much of the other clothing you own. So please wear it as often as possible, preferably washed in between wears.
What You Should Do: Wash it and wear it again before too long.


Bonus: What you should definitely not do
- Don´t break your plans because you have a hangover. If you can´t go for this reason at least have the decency to lie and say you are sick.
- Don´t compare your sex life to a pornographic film
- Never talk about the amount of weight you can bench press because women couldn´t really care less. Believe it or not, if a woman isn´t shallow, she will not care whether or not you can lift her.

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