2.08.2007

Mao -- ""the only rule you may be told is this one."

This is an infuriating card game that was often played when I was in college. If a new player asked to play the dealer would say something like "sure you can play" and then once you were seated you would of course ask "how do I play?" the answer, was always, "the only rule you may be told is this one."

You would then spend the remainder of the game trying to figure out the game, getting cards added to your hand for not adhering to the rules, talking out of order, or making some other seemingly detrimental faux pas.

For all the times I played I never did learn enough to be the dealer... sometimes you were told there were 8 rules and the only one sure of them was the dealer. Well I feel bad for all the people out there who couldn't play Mao, and certainly couldn't deal, and so, after much soul-searching and scouring of the Internet, I have found the "rules" of Mao and will divulge them here:

"Rules of play
Mao is a card game of the Shedding family (also called the Stops family) in which the objective is to get rid of all of the cards in your hand. It is very similar to the card game UNO or Crazy Eights.[9][10][11][12] Each player is dealt an initial hand with an equal number of cards; the exact number of cards dealt varies, but is generally either five[10][13][14][15] or seven.[9][16][17] The size of the deck also varies; it is good to have approximately one 52-card deck for every two or three players[11] (or, in games with new players, one deck for every player), but missing or extra cards are not terribly important to gameplay. Two decks combined is common; matching card backs aren't important, either. Once the cards are dealt, the remaining cards are placed face down in a stack in the middle of the table, and the top card from the stack is turned over and placed next to it.[9] In some variants, play commences with the player to the left of the dealer and proceeds clockwise;[10] in others, the dealer chooses who begins and which direction it proceeds.[9] Many variants penalize players for looking at their hands before the game begins or before the dealer looks at his or her hand.[9][13]

A player may play any card in his hand which matches either the value or the suit of the card currently lying face-up on the table.[9] The card played must be placed on top of this card, and the next player will have to play a card that matches the new one. If the player has no cards he can play, he must instead draw a new card from the top of the stack lying face-down and, in most variants, say something such as "Pass" or "Penalty Card".[9] Usually, his turn is lost and he cannot play after he draws a card.

Most variants share a few basic types of special cards. These include:

** A face value that reverses order of play when played (commonly eight,[9][13][14][17][12] but not always[10])

** Aces cause the next player to skip his turn[9][10][13][16][17]
Jacks are commonly wild, allowing any player to call out a new suit when a jack is played[9][10][13][14]

** Spade cards must be named when played (eg, playing an ace of spades requires the player to say "ace of spades").[9][10][13][15] Some variants will randomly nominate one particular suit to be constantly named when played, up to the discretion of the Mao Leader.[citation needed]

** A seven forces the next player to draw a penalty card and requires the person who played it to announce "have a nice day." If the next player also plays a seven, he announces "have a very nice day" and the player after that draws two penalty cards. The number of "very"s and penalty cards can increase as long as sevens can be played.[10][13][14][15][17] In some variants, a red seven requires the player to announce "have a nice day", and a black seven requires the player to announce "have a very nice day".[citation needed]

** In some variants in which multiple decks are used, any player who has a card in his or her hand which is identical to the card just played may play that card, whether or not it is his or her turn. Play will then proceed with the player whose turn it would have been had not the interruption occurred.

Further rules
As noted above, in many variants an additional rule is silently and secretly added to the game with each round. There may also be additional rules that are already in effect at the beginning of the game, just to get things moving, and these rules may be known to all players, or perhaps only to the dealer. The rules will vary from group to group, and possibly from game to game, but most rules fall under one of the following four categories.[6]

** When happens, perform an action (say a phrase, knock on the table, etc)

** When happens, something about the game changes

** An action must always, or never, be performed (don't straighten the pile, etc)

** Something fundamental about the game changes (a king is treated as if it were a jack for all game purposes)

Note that the listed above can be absolutely anything. Common examples include playing a specific card ("the ace of spades") or a specific type of card ("any red three"), but triggering conditions can become as complicated as their creator wishes. Further examples might include "when someone plays a face card on top of a non-face card", "when someone plays a nine with their right hand" or even "playing an odd numbered card on top of an even numbered card".[citation needed]

To "create" a rule, one could pick a triggering condition, and then one or more action and/or game effect. The spirit of the rule is generally something in good fun, and may make more sense when in context; such as saying "He's dead, Jim" when playing what is known as "the suicide king".[citation needed] While rules that unfairly sway the game in favour of one player or to the detriment of one specific player are possible and quite easy to concoct, ("Every time James plays a ten, he gets a penalty") they are generally frowned upon as unsportsmanlike.

In many variants, during the game, no speech is allowed other than that required by the rules. Some players feel that this rule reduces the amount of fun had while playing the game (especially for new players) and allow speech not required by the rules, as long as that speech does not conflict with any other rules in play. Others feel that unnecessary speech can cause unnecessary obfuscation of speech-oriented rules, making it even more difficult for new players to pick up on subtle rulesets.

Examples of particular speech rules include:

Point of Order. Any player (or only the dealer, in some variations) may at any time announce "point of order,",[9][10][13] at which point all players must put down their cards while discussion takes place. This time can be used to go to the bathroom, discuss a ruling, or to ask whose turn it really is. In some variations players have to talk in the third person. The point of order ends when the player that called point of order announces "end point of order," or "pick your cards up" at which point the cards are picked back up and play resumes. Players may not pick up their hands until the dealer picks up his own hand, or in some variations until the player who called point of order picks up his hand. This rule is often enforced by penalties such as "fondling the cards" or "premature peeking". Additionally, there may be a penalty for saying the phrase "Point of Order" during Point of Order; this may be circumvented by saying "Point of O", "P of Order", "P of O", etc. In many variants, during a Point of Order, no players (including the dealer) are permitted to touch their cards at all. Another very common name that is used is "Pivo," possibly coming from "P of O" shortened to one word. In the Oxford variation, any player can end the point of order, thus avoiding the problem of people being unable to remember (or refusing to admit) who started the point of order.

Questions. In some variants, all players (sometimes including the dealer) are prohibited from asking questions.[13]

Swearing. Many variants prohibit swearing.[9][10][13][14]

Blasphemy. Many variants prohibit blasphemy (including taking in vain the name of God, Jesus, Christ, or (in some variants), Chairman Mao.)[citation needed]

Hail to the Chairman. In some variants, playing a king requires the player to say, "Hail to the Chairman," and playing a queen requires the player to say, "Hail to the Chairwoman."[17]
Last Card. Some variants require the player to announce when he only has one card left in his hand.[10][14]

Special card names. In some variants, specific cards are given a name that is to be said instead of the real name of the card. For example, if Bob plays the eight of clubs, he would say, "that's the badger!" And failure to say anything else apart from that would result in a penalty card. This also brings up another penalty of, "speaking the name of the sacred animal out of turn."[citation needed]

Thank you. In some variants, the recipient of a penalty card is issued for not thanking the issuer of the original penalty card, although subsequent, "failure to say thank you," cards are not allowed to be issued for not thanking the issuer of that penalty card.[citation needed]

Mao. Upon playing his last card, a player must call out "Mao" to win.[9][10] Should he forget to say "Mao", or call it incorrectly, he is penalized. Stacking penalties at this point can cause much grief to a player who has gleefully placed his last card down and proclaimed "Mao", only to discover that he has broken some rule. Alternatively, a player may have to call "Mao" when he or she has one card left.

Required order of speech rules. In some variants, where multiple speech rules apply to a particular situation, the calls that the player is required to make must be made in the correct order. [citation needed] One typical order of operations is: calls resulting from the card's suit, then calls resulting from its rank, then calls resulting from the card's suit and rank simultaneously, and finally "last card" or "Mao" when applicable. For example, assume a variant where the "announce names of all played cards that are spades", "special 'have a nice day' rules for sevens", and "required call of 'thank you' upon playing a card with the same suit and rank as the top card". A seven of spades is the top card, and the player whose turn it is plays his last card, which is also a seven of spades. That player must call "Seven of spades, have a very nice day, thank you, Mao", in that order. Any variation is a penalizable offense (which would then bring the "Last card" rule back into play, etc.)

Cumulative effect of speech rules. In many variants, violations of speech rules are cumulative. Thus, if a player were to ask a question that contained a swearword, this would constitute a violation of both the "Question" and the "Swearing" prohibitions, and the player would be penalized for both.

Silence. Some variants forbid players from speaking at all, unless a rule orders them to speak.[citation needed]

In some variants, particular players are assigned particular titles, and particular rights or duties accrue to that player by virtue of that title. Examples:

** The dealer might have the title "Chairman Mao," "Mao Leader," "Mao Master," or "Game Master" and be the ultimate authority over whether a rule was broken. [citation needed]

** A player other than the dealer might have the title "Custodian of the Deck" and be the only player entitled to touch or handle cards during a Point of Order. (Typically, the Custodian of the Deck is charged with ensuring that piles of cards on the table are tidy.)[citation needed]

** A player other than the dealer might have the title "Minister of Foreign Affairs", and be the only player authorized to speak to people who are not playing the game. [citation needed]

There may be a time limit of approximately five seconds for each turn;[13][10][15] if exceeded, the player gets a penalty card and either loses his turn or gets another penalty every five seconds thereafter.

Most times a penalty is called, one card is given to the offender. If the call was wrong, the caller of a penalty can be given the card back with a reason of "bad call".[13][15][17] If the name of the game is mentioned at any time during play, the offender is penalized with at least two cards and sometimes a ridiculous number of cards, like thirty or fifty.[citation needed] Alternatively, this may only apply for the last card a player discards.

When playing multiple rounds of Mao, it is customary for a player (often the winner of the previous round, sometimes the next person to deal) to add one new rule to the game; after many rounds, many new rules will accumulate. Naturally, only the person who created the rule will initially know what it is. Some Mao players insist that two players know the new rule, so it can be consistently enforced.[citation needed] In that case, the winner tells another player about the new rule when it is created."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mao_(game)

This is an amusing site that tries to explain why the rules mustn't be divuldged.
http://www.pagat.com/eights/mao.html

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