Coffee Rants

"The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall! Decaf! Cappuccino!" - Joe from "You've Got Mail"

"Oh I see what they’re doing! They call “small” “tall” because it makes the customer feel good when they pay $3 for a urine sample sized cup of coffee swill! This way it seems like they are getting more because the word “tall” is stuck into their psyche. I see their psychological marketing trickery! You tricky bastards that’s what you all are!" - Foamy the Squirrel

"And Vien-tee isn’t even a word! It’s some f***ing “hoighty toighty phrase used to make people feel more sophisticated when ordering a large coffee so when they part with the $5 for the coffee they don’t feel like a f***ing moron. " - Foamy the Squirrel